I picked this album up almost two years ago on one of those download sprees where I was just hoping to find new and awesome music, linking one band to one group, to one artist to another. You know how it goes. Especially if you were on OiNK. Anyway, this is an album I am kind of dumb for not having heard earlier. It's very close to my steez. I don't want this blog post to serve as much more than a recommendation. I'll spare you the boring descriptions of their "post-Throbbing Gristle analog black tech wave" or whatever shit I would say to describe this amazing album. Just say that I've been listening to it A LOT since I dug it out of my iPod, where it had been languishing for too long. Also, the new Tomb Raider is pretty fun. It's just like Legend, which I also enjoyed. And now I'm going to go do something fucking awesome and fun that has nothing to do with computers or "black tech wave."
One day I was playing Silent Hill: Homecoming. I'm still a sucker for the Silent Hill brand of scares. I believe that by playing this game for a matter of hours with Chris, that we opened a portal to Hell. The effects of said interdimensional line-blurring were myriad and horrid. For one, my computer, affectionately known as the Frogger 2600, officially bit the dust, quite mysteriously. After a time rift in which a walk to a coffeeshop two blocks away took four hours, I returned home to find my computer unable to boot up. Closer inspection revealed a sticky stain on the keyboard. This stain smelled like beer, but was almost certainly demon's blood. Shortly after this discovery, my apartment building was crawling with cops and firemen, as one of my upstairs neighbors lost his mind and decided to burn the place down. Seriously. A bunch of other stuff happened, most of it not worth mentioning here, but let me summarize with this: Silent Hill games, even derivative editions on 360, are capable of day-ruining universe rifts. Now, I am not promising that Konami's horror-fest will cause your computer to mysteriously break or your neighbors to lose their mind, but if you look at my Saturday a couple weeks ago, a precedent has been set. Be wary. Also, I now have an excuse for never posting, so eff off, World Breaker.
UPDATE: 2/3/09 - Said computer has mysteriously resurrected itself. But it wasn't pretty. There was some serious Lovecraftian shit involved. And more cops. Either way, the Frogger 2600 is back. But the sentiment remains. Eff off, World Breaker.
Ok, I've never seen Mad Max. I probably should, because I really like the video for Turbo Lover. But crawling around the innanets today, I found that MY DOG ZOE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE DOG FROM MAD MAX. Like, uncannily. Now I have to rent it, watch it with the dog, and nerd out. "H-looka Zoe! That's You! YOOOO! WHOUZA good doggie? WHOZ inna movie?! Zooeee!" Pictured at left, Zoe on the prowl. Pictured at right, Hollywood Zoe resisting the urge to pee on Mel Gibson's leg.
So. Because of some stupid football injury I got like a month ago, I was unable to play video games. Eventually earning the name "my zombie thumb," this jammed digit was swollen, inflexible and weak. Also quite painful. During its prolonged healing process, I downloaded Mega Man 9 and was able to just barely beat one boss before the dull realization that my left thumb was simply not capable of joystick manipulation. Some weeks later, my GameFly Q stagnating, the thumb was earning its keep at work, assisting in the lifting my pointer finger had taken over in the meantime. I actually became quite skilled at clawing things between my left index and middle fingers, my thumb dangling sadly. ANYWAY - my long lost copy of BioShock arrived after spending 13 pretend dollars, Bank of America bucks, and I was back in the game. Wish I played this one sooner - it's simply fantastic. Again, me being new to the whole FPS thing, I prefer them with some weird qualifier. Like Portal and its unique classification as a First Person Puzzle Horror Comedy, or Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, because it is a Metroid game, hardly an FPS. BioShock fits into this well. Already I see it as more of an environmental mystery atmospheric artistic achievement. I hope to beat it soon, because I just want to appreciate it real fast and get it the hell out of the way, so I can make way for other things- like finishing Watchmen, starting the new Silent Hill, and living my awesome life, one mindboggling event after another. Kind of. But not really. Bring on Dead Space. And Left 4 Dead.
So at the zero hour of this PS3 exclusive, Sony has pulled it back because of the GRIM discovery that "one of the background music tracks licensed from a record label for use in the game contains two expressions that can be found in the Qur'an." That's a quote from SCEE about it. They go on to say "We have taken immediate action to rectify this and we sincerely apologize for any offense that this may have caused." Wait a minute. WHAT THE FUCK? What's the problem here? And why are they so apologetic about it? A billion people sing the Qur'an literally every day, and SCEE is acting like it's the goddamned Necronomicon. It kinda reminds me of how Obama gets "accused" of being a Muslim. And of course, he denies it vehemently. So what if he was? I mean, I guess this is a tired point to anyone with half a brain, but again (sigh), Muslims aren't evil people, Satan doesn't live within the pages of the Islamic holy book. Though it would be kinda cool if he did. Satan rocks. Praise Mohammad.
UPDATE 10/22/08 - So it looks like Penny Arcade went ahead and did a comic about just this. I still don't get what the big deal is.
So here are some awesome punk names, basically from the top of my head. I previously put this list on my Twitter in a fit of serial tweeting. But this is the innanet and things must be repeated. Especially lists. Lists are readable. So here's my top five. A countdown in order of awesomeness.
5. Land Phil This dude is the bass player for "thrash revivalists," Municipal Waste. Punk rock name wise, it's pretty basic. Just a good ol' pun. But hey, I do love me a good pun. PUNishment aside, Land Phil is worth noting here basically because of how fucking awesome Municipal Waste is. These guys shred way too hard to have fully visible hands. I saw the Waste in July, opening for AT THE GATES, which was among the best shows I've ever been to. Their shreddiness aside, Municipal Waste have a real knack for punk punz. Here are a few or their awesome song titles: Substitute Creature, Abusement Park, The Thrashin' of the Christ and my personal favorite, Beer Pressure.
4. Ross Sewage
So the place I'm posting from right now is pretty loud and I can't hear anything from my computer, but I guess this is ol' Ross drunk, talking about dog shit or something. He plays bass in Impaled and Ludicra. I've seen Ludicra a few times - they like to play Portland and the Northwest and stuff. They've played Ground Kontrol twice, which were among our biggest nights ever. Just a pretty good name. A slightly more artful pun than Land Phil, I think.
3. Park Bench So I can't find any pictures of this guy. He plays a tiny role with no dialogue in American Psycho. An "artist" named "Stash." But c'mon. Park Bench. That's genius.
2. Skip School Same as Park Bench - no picture. In fact, I've looked all over the innanet and can't find any mention of this mythical punk unicorn. I only know about Skip School because my friend Jakob mentions him in this pun-name conversation. For the life of him, Jakob can't remember what bank Skip is from. Which leads me to believe that Mr. School is beyond made up, and is errant PUN from the mist planet JOKE, manifested in Jakob's brain where he can enter our world under the guise of, I dunno, probably a bass player in a band that probably sounds a lot like Fear.
1. Frank Discussion I know. It's genius. I think that is the most hilarious thing I've ever heard. The guys calls himself Frank. Discussion. Just let that sink in for a bit. Anyway, he's the singer for domestic terrorists anti-establishment punks, Feederz. Those guys are pretty gnarly. Can't say I've seen them or even heard one of their records, but I'd like to. If they're half as good as their naming skills, these guys have to be nothing short of amazing.
Behold the billowing fog of a blog that no one reads. The dusty unyielding lack of posts. The eponymous Neurosis lyrics, misinterpreted. World Breaker. A fate worse than death, the icy fingers clawing your back.
World Breaker. The violent serpent that knows neither mercy or satiety, but is actually just a blog that's mostly about video games. No longer apologizing for lack of posts.
