The Knockout Artist - Harry Crews

So last week I finished the very engrossing Knockout Artist. My coworker was reading it and I picked it up when he wasn't around, putting away the first few chapters at my noisy workplace, until I finally got my own copy.
It's important I think, when discussing this book, to keep it spoiler-free for those who haven't read it. There are some really unique elements that make this book so great, but I really hope you read it - so I'm not going to reveal anything.
But I'll say what I can about Crews and this book. His characters and settings are rendered in a perfectly effortless language that is never uncomfortable for even a second. The first chapter of The Knockout Artist is positively arresting. To finish that first one is to pretty much sign a contract with Crews and the rest of the book; you will not be looking away from this gross roadside accident of a story. I can say that it might not necessarily be for everyone. If it were a film, it would have to fight the MPAA to even get an NC-17 rating. Some of the subject matter here can live only on the page or one's twisted imagination. It's not a trash novel by any means, but it can certainly get pretty rough. Crews doesn't relish in the nasty here, though. While at times eye-popping in its debauchery, the story is always coherent, always human and never malevolent. So many books are ready to give up on their readers, leaving one depressed and with a sense of gloom. (I'm looking at you, Brett Ellis.) Crews instead assumes the best of his reader, taking us down a dark path but not a dreadful experience. The book is also deceptively simple. The plain-English story will sometimes throw the reader a bizarre poetic curveball revealing the author's glaring enthusiasm for putting words on paper. Crews is supposed to be writing novels, and he's written this one well.
This, apparently, is one of Crews' minor works. I had to do a little research on the guy after I read The Knockout Artist. I guess his big one is another novel called A Feast of Snakes.
Anyway, I obviously recommend this one. C'mon. What are you reading now? You're just re-reading Lord of the Rings. And this blog. I bet Powell's has this no-name book for like six bucks. Just go get it instead of your usual issue of fucking Adbusters or whatever. Anyway.

Here's the stuff I wrote for Ground Kontrol's April Fool's Day joke

It was actually pretty rad. For one day we changed GK's website to look like it was taken over by Noiseland. Like, new banner, Simpsons font, all that.

I did a "news" story and a few game writeups. Here they are.

GROUND KONTROL ACQUIRED BY NOISELAND ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

Ground Kontrol Classic Arcade, a closely held Oregon corporation, has been acquired by Noiseland Arcade, Inc. Terms of the transaction were not released, but sources say the stock and arcade machine swap was valued at "a lot".

Noiseland spokesman Xavier Quarters says that Noiseland "is excited to take corporate Kontrol of Portland's homegrown barcade, and we're changing more than just the name! For starters, because of our lucrative partnership with the Duff Beer Corporation, we'll be clearing out GK's selection of Oregon microbrews and opening the bar to sell Duff products exclusively." Suddenly shouting, Quarters then added, "ARE YOU READY TO GET DUFFED?!"

The newly rebranded arcade will be retaining Ground Kontrol's all ages hours, though the only beverage available at those times will be Duff-owned Buzz Cola. One anonymous youth expressed his satisfaction that Noiseland will continue to allow minors from noon to 5pm. "I have to hang out there most afternoons until my dad gets home from the cracker factory. He's a pretty big wheel over there."

While CEOs on both sides of the buyout have called the acquistion "excellent," one nearby comic book store owner and apparent Ground Kontrol loyalist was quick to describe it as the "Worst. Corporate buyout. Ever!" Similar sentiments have echoed around the Old Town blocks where the arcade resides. One daily patron of Ground Kontrol called it "A REAL LEMON OF A DEAL!" Regardless of customer and staff concerns, the takeover is effective immediately.

Ground Kontrol's current bar staff is being completely rehauled as well. Noiseland's new bartender would not agree to a phone interview, citing an endless stream of prank phone calls to his previous establishment. Asked about losing his job at Ground Kontrol, a former arcade worker there was only ambivent. "Whatever," he replied, "I heard they're opening a Wall E. Weasel's out in Beaverton. I could probably get another gig there."


NEW GAMES
Noiseland is excited to present the best in slightly used video gaming:

Pac-Rat

Pac Rat, a classic maze game that bears absolutely no resemblance to any other arcade game, is one of the flagship games of the Noiseland Video Arcade. In this erratic rat race, players rack up scores packing away rejected foodstuffs and running from bratty cats.

Larry the Looter

Break into storefronts and window displays as Larry, the greedy criminal with a very destructive streak. Players rack up high scores by lifting stereos, TVs, and jewelry, stuffing them into Larry's bloated loot bag. Just beware of the protective store owner. Your Game Over screen appears as suddenly as a decapitating blast from his shotgun!

Nuke Canada

This cold war layover has gamers racking up quarters in command of a conflict with our neighbors to the north. America Lite has their work cut out for them as they try to deflect an onslaught of Yankee nukes. Known for its incredible ease, Nuke Canada is one of the only games a player can win with the push of one single button.

Super Slugfest

Super Slugfest is exactly what it sounds like. It's a lot more super than the previous Slugfest. Currently however, Noiseland Game Group is looking into a copyright lawsuit with Ground Kontrol whose wildly successful series of fighting game tournaments share the name.

Escape From Grandma's House

First in the fan favorite Grandma's House trilogy, gameplay sees players dodging moldy bread, ancient candy, and mangy cats. In this first edition, Andy the Abandoned fights against a countdown timer until his ride home finally arrives. But as levels increase, the timer gets longer and the enemies more numerous, until the player eventually perishes in a cloud of mothballs and butterscotch discs.